Looking back at 2009 so we can brace for 2010
By Ron Hart on sayanythingblog.com:
BOCA GRANDE, Fla. - As I do at the end of each year, here is a look back at 2009:
1. Hillary Clinton proved to be the best and most reasoned part of the Obama administration after being appointed Secretary of State. She was thoroughly vetted and got the post only after Obama’s top-notch security team determined that she had no romantic links to Bill Clinton.
2. Oprah was offered an ambassadorship to the Vatican, or somewhere, by Obama as a reward for supporting him; she turned it down since it was a lateral move. She did, however, secure the post of surgeon general for her Dr. Oz.
3. GM and Chrysler were taken over by Obama and his Congressional allies after Washington, with the help of the unions, regulated them into bankruptcy. The only difference between the auto industry and the politicians in Washington is that the airbags in D.C. caused the crash.
4. Obama put his faithful Chia-Pet sidekick, Joe “Plugs” Biden, in charge of the constituency handouts they called the “much-needed $700 billion stimulus bill.” It “stimulated” about as much growth as hair on Biden’s head this year. Biden said the program worked, even though we lost hundreds of thousands of jobs afterwards. Obama defended Biden, saying he is smarter than people think. He would almost have to be.
5. After a string of murders of female hookers, Craig’s List quietly dropped its “Escort/Erotic” section, thus screwing up the weekend plans of countless Congressmen.
6. Socialite Brooke Astor died. Her son and lawyers tried to take all of her money while she was alive but incompetent, proving once again that in America the only way to make sure the Democrats or attorneys do not take you for all you have is to die broke.
7. Obama changed the name of the War on Terror to “Overseas Contingency Operation” - problem solved with slick wording. He will now solve the homeless situation by calling them “outdoorsmen.” Wordplay has been the go-to policy for Obama.
8. Michael Vick returned from his suspension for violating the NFL’s Personal Conduct Policy. America was stunned - the NFL has a personal conduct policy?
9. When they were not bashing Sarah Palin, the left-wing media dug up dirt on Miss California, Carrie Prejean, because she voiced the same views about gay marriage as Obama did. Semi-nude pictures of her were published. She says it was just “the wind” blowing her shirt open during a photo shoot. I call it my screensaver.
10. The U.S. Postal Service (always a funny name) lost another $3 billion in 2009, mostly in the mail. Fed Ex made money. So Postal Service officials did the logical thing when business is down: they raised prices. Now that it owns Chrysler, the government will raise the price of the PT Cruiser to $250,000 to increase profits. I cannot wait for government-run health care.
11. Obama, the self-anointed president of the World, made a speech at the Great Wall of China. The next day a confused Joe Biden gathered the media for his own speech there and shouted, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” Note to Congress: not one Mexican has illegally sneaked into China since that wall was built.
12. Major Hasan, a Muslim Army doctor who made anti-American statements and was in contact with Al-Qaida, shouted “Allah Akbar” (Allah is Great) before slaughtering 13 U.S. soldiers. The Obama administration is still trying to understand his motive.
13. A sad Christmas story ended the year when Tiger Woods’ wife found out that other women have been warming themselves with his Yule Log. Then she roasted his chestnuts on an open media firestorm, revealing to many women that those romantic Hollywood movies just might not reflect the real world. The next thing we will find out is that Larry the Cable Guy ain’t really a cable guy.
14. The Obama-care health care bill, which 61 percent of Americans oppose, looks to get rammed through the Senate as Harry Reid spends more of our borrowed money to buy the votes of various senators with pork projects. Constitutional lawyers will file suits, arguing that the Obama administration puts its own socialist political goals ahead of the Constitution. Expect a slow response from the Obama administration as it wrestles with whether it can make an argument against that assertion. Our current government-regulated health care is cumbersome, confusing and costly. Some want to socialize it further to make it even more cumbersome, confusing and costly. Then we will have to wait in line for it - all to burnish Obama’s legacy.
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